I see dead people. You can too, without even having to go see Rebecca down at Cinema-To-Go for a copy of “The Sixth Sense.”

Vidstone LLC in Miami recently announced the upcoming availability of video tombstones.

That’s right, grave markers now come complete with a 7-inch video panel that is solar-powered and comes with audio jacks so that passers-by can view a five- to seven-minute video of the dearly departed.

If Vidstone creator Sergio Aguirre has his way, cemeteries will soon be filled — no pun intended — by folks walking around with headphones eager to plug into the highlights of people they never knew.

A novel idea to say the least.

Instead of “RIP” we might be treated to how John Doe loved his dogs. Instead of “Here Lies Bob” there would be a short clip of a man playing golf. Perhaps we’d be treated to a wedding scene instead of the names of a devoted couple.

Of course, creative minds might want to have a little more fun.

My video epitaph, for instance, might include some great story about discovering the location of Blackbeard’s lost treasure while sipping fruity umbrella drinks on some deserted North Carolina beach. After talking about the hunt, the clues and the enormous wealth of the treasure, I’d say, “The bounty can be found at,” before the screen goes blank.

Talk about keeping folks in suspense.

Hey, it might get them to visit your grave again in 15 years, when the screen must be replaced by a bronze plaque or with a new monitor.

Imagine the startled look of someone who plugs into a stone and finds a video of someone clad in a sheet moaning “Woooooo” for seven minutes, or of a toddler who turns on the screen to find someone dressed as Santa Claus.

Yeah, it’s sadistic ... but you know there are folks among you who would do it as a practical joke.

You don’t have to worry about it from me, however, for I would fear that high-tech vandals would replace my video with that of a hippo in a pink thong dancing around to Marilyn Manson songs.

Besides vandals, one would have to worry that their family might have a bit of fun at their expense as well. Instead of a loving video of you surrounded by your loved ones, tombstone viewers might be treated to you dressed in a loincloth while you sing “Hunka Hunk of Burning Love” in front of a mirror.

After all, what can you do to them? It’s not like you could haunt them anyway without the help of little Haley Joel Osment.

And with everybody now able to see the dead people, he’s given up acting for a new profession ... selling headphones at cemetery entrances.

Despite the downfalls and fears, the video tombstone idea will probably change cemeteries into the drive-ins of this generation ... even though the price tag is about $1,500.

Hey, you can’t take it with you ... but now you can show that you had it.

TODD GARVIN can be reached at tgarvin@glasgowdailytimes.com or (270) 678-5171, Ext. 234.


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