Glasgow Daily Times, Glasgow, KY


January 24, 2014

Eagerly anticipating winter’s merciful end

GLASGOW — I could honestly climb atop my desk and shout from the tops of my lungs, “I AM TIRED OF WINTER AND ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”

I really would do it if I thought it would help. But I know it would scare my nearest coworker so badly that she might go into cardiac arrest, and I really don’t want that to happen.

Still, I can’t help but complain.

I’m tired of having to start my car in the mornings to let the ice melt before my short commute to work.

I’m tired of wearing layers upon layers of clothing. On some days I feel like Randy from the movie “A Christmas Story.” Remember, he’s Ralphie’s little brother who gets so bundled up by his mother before walking to school on a bitter cold day that he exclaims to his mother, “I can’t put my arms down!”

I’m also tired of static electricity – in my clothes and my hair.

I hate walking down the hallway only to find that one of my pant legs is clinging to my body. I keep shaking my leg as I walk, hoping the extra movement will render my pant leg free of static electricity, even though I know it won’t.

I admit rubbing a balloon across the top of a baby’s head just to get their hair to stand on end is fun and really cute. But when a 46-year-old woman is sporting the same hairstyle, it’s not cute. It just makes me look deranged.

Groundhog Day is less than two weeks away. I say, instead of waiting to see if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow Feb. 2, let’s go hunting – groundhog hunting. Without Punxsutawney Phil, surely spring will arrive early and we can put this bitter, winter all behind us. Who’s with me?

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