Words Kentuckians know

By JOEL WILSON
For the Daily Times

September 26, 2008 10:54 am

— Recently a friend sent me an idea for a column on what it means to be a rural Kentuckian. He even included some suggestions.
I filed it for future reference but it came back to me the other day after overhearing a true Kentuckian’s conversation at the next table in a restaurant. I know I shouldn’t have been listening but it was too good to miss.
He used terms like hissie fit and cattywompus.
Now everyone who lives south of the Mason-Dixon line knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption. My mother often told my older brother, “Now don’t have a conniption. Your face will freeze that way.”
Some other suggestions my friend e-mailed included some things that every rural Kentuckian knows or should.
For instance, “gimme some sugar” doesn’t mean pass the sugar and “fixin” to do something means change is coming, and not the kind of change that the two presidential candidates are always talking about.
“I’ll Suwannee” has nothing to do with the river and “by and by” means you’ll be getting around to doing something you’ve been fixin to do.
When you tell somebody “that dog won’t hunt” you could or could not be talking about a hound dog.
You know how many crappie or turnip greens it takes to make a mess. And pot likker is non alcoholic but is great on cornbread.
You remember how good a Nehi grape and a hunk of hoop cheese and crackers were on the front porch of a country store.
You still believe your mother or your grandmother made the best biscuits ever. And you can’t buy milk gravy in a can.
Redeye gravy is better with a shot of coffee in the mix.
That you don’t want to be left holding the bag on a snipe hunt. And you don’t go snipe hunting more than once.
You know by the age of 8 what “rabbit tobacco” is.
That a “stump-busted” watermelon has the sweetest taste. But you need to know how to run real fast.
You also know the difference between “pert near” and “a fer piece.” And “just down the road a bit” can be anywhere from 100 yards to five miles. Pretty much like “over yonder.” And you know how long you’ll be gone when you say, “I’m goin over yonder. Be back directly.”
You know a neighbor might be a bit troubled when he answers your question of “How yawl” with “just tolerable.”
And the best medicine for someone who is “just tolerable” is a plate of fried chicken, a big bowl of tater salid, or a sweet tater pie and “settin’ a spell” with them on the front porch or under a shade tree. You might even consider makin ’em a “naner puddin.”
And when you are in a restrunt, talk about things like cattywompus and hissie fit. It’ll cheer up the dude at the next table.
Joel Wilson can be reached by e-mail at afwilson@glasgow-ky.com.