Published: May 08, 2008 04:27 pm            

A change for the better

Diagnosis, treatment changed woman’s outlook on life

GLASGOW — Cancer is color blind. It doesn’t care how old or young you are. It’s not concerned about power, influence or money. Those things that often divide us, cancer erases.

A lump in C.J. Elliot’s breast let her know about cancer.

“It let me know that if somebody has a million dollars, it doesn’t matter,” she said. “When we get out there, whether black, white, Hispanic – whatever race you might be, it hits us all. If you’re the target for the day, then you are the target. And no matter what you have, you can’t buy your way out of getting cancer.”

The knowledge changed her. It changed her life for the better. She is a survivor.

C.J. will celebrate five years of being cancer free during the Relay for Life of Barren County on Friday at Glasgow High School.

Five years and eight months ago C.J. learned about cancer.

“I left work at 10:30 on August the 28th, 2002, for an early lunch and I returned to work in February of 2003. That’s the longest lunch I’ve ever taken,” she said. “I just couldn’t believe what I had heard when I went to the doctor.”

What she heard was that a biopsy of a lump in her breast done the day before was cancerous.

She was angry. She wasn’t angry with her doctor, or God, or anyone other than herself.

“I was upset because it had been there a year. I was mad at myself because I’ve always been a strong woman and I let my guard down,” C.J. said. “When I was told it was cancer, I left the doctor’s office and had to come back the next day. I had to think.”

She thought about what might have been and what the future would hold. She thought about mortality.

“When they say the ‘C’ word, you think of death. You think, ‘It’s my time.’ But I knew it wasn’t my time,” C.J. said.

She also thought about her anger and the fact that she had let that lump ride for a year without taking action.

She found it during self-exam in 2001 and took the information to her regular doctor.

“When she said there was nothing there, that’s what I wanted to hear. That’s what I wanted to hear. I left it alone,” C.J. said. “I should’ve gotten a second opinion because it’s not always good to hear what you want to hear.”

She had family and friends feel for the lump during the year between her finding it and the biopsy in 2002. They felt nothing out of the ordinary.

“I just thought it was me,” she said.

It wasn’t.

“I went a whole year. It was still there and I knew there had to be something.”

She got the news she did not want to hear when she visited Dr. Sreejaya Reddy.

“She felt what I felt. We did a biopsy and that’s when I discovered I had breast cancer.”

Despite not acting on her initial finding, C.J. said the regular self-check and annual mammogram still helped save her life. “I suggest to all women to get a breast exam. It’s not something to play with.”

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C.J. held on to her anger for more than a week. After surgery to remove 10 lymph nodes, five of which were cancerous, she let go.

“I was determined that it was a new beginning,” she said. “You can’t dwell on what you’ve done in the past. You’ve got to get yourself strong enough to go on.

“I said, ‘Now I’ve got to fight.’”

Her faith and family helped in that effort.

“I turned it over to God. You worry about things, but there’s nothing you can do. God will make the right choice, whether putting you back on your feet or putting you in the grave,” C.J. said. “My daddy told me when you can’t change it yourself, you don’t worry about it. I always keep that in mind.”

After surgery, her parents – Cobert and Mary Jane Depp – cared for her.

“There’s nothing like a mother’s love,” C.J. said.

After a week recovering at their house, she returned home, where her husband, Bobby Elliot, cared for her.

“I would be sick for four days after doing chemo and he would not leave the house. That support ... I don’t believe any other man would’ve given to me.”

She said her daughter, Nicole Elliot, and six siblings were also very supportive. Love and family helped her through six tough months of chemo and radiation treatments.

“My marriage is very strong from that situation. My life was changed and it did change the people around me.”

Her marriage is stronger, she said, her family tighter.

Through the process of chemotherapy treatments – four treatments once every three weeks – and 52 radiation treatments, her perspective on life shifted. She began thinking of others who were going through similar ordeals. It led her to begin to think of ways she could give back to the community and encourage others to fight cancer.

It led C.J. to give her daughter an unexpected response.

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“One day she (Nicole) and a friend from Lindsey Wilson came to the house and Nicole asked me what I was thinking about. I told her I was thinking about what I wanted to be when I grow up,” C.J. said with a laugh. “They still give me a hard time about that now because I was 40-something-years old. But it came out the wrong way because I was thinking at that time what I could do for somebody else.”

What she’s done is to give back to the community by opening CJ’s House of Stylz, a beauty salon on Bunche Avenue in a white house across from the Glasgow Housing Authority. They don’t specifically cater to women who have lost their hair as a result of treatment for cancer or other diseases, but she’s considered it.

“I’ve thought about taking this room right here and getting wigs, but I’ve not gotten that far yet,” she said.

The room, used mainly for storage, holds beauty salon supplies, a small, brown card table and four folding chairs. It could easily be converted to display wigs and be a fitting room.

C.J.’s beauty salon opened in February, five years after her return to her regular job at South Central Bank.

Though not a hairstylist herself, C.J. said she wanted to open a place where “women could come in, get their hair done and make themselves at home. I wanted to do something that would help the community.”

Her interest in wigs comes from her own experience during cancer treatment and recovery.

“I sat there and pulled my hair out the day after chemo. Losing my hair was a big deal because I didn’t want to lose my hair, especially as a woman,” C.J. said.

She said the best way to deal with her hair loss was to wear wigs and to have fun doing it.

“I had anywhere from 10 to 15 wigs and I could be anybody I wanted to be. I enjoyed that. You find laughter in it because, like I said to my husband one night, ‘I’m Dolly.’ I knew you’ve got to look good to feel good. I always knew as long as I looked good, I would feel good.”

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She maintained her upbeat approach to her fight with cancer even after she returned to work at the bank. She also became even more determined to become involved with Relay for Life.

“I hate to admit it, but I only went to the Relay one time before I was diagnosed with cancer,” C.J. said.

She and her sisters put together a Relay team for the first time in 2003. They continued for the next three years. In 2007 and this year, C.J. has worked with the South Central Bank team, she said.

Her involvement with Relay has opened a new world of friends and people to whom she can relate.

“Cancer is a bad thing to have, but it’s a good way to make new friends,” she said. “It’s like a different world. You seem to know everybody after that. Everybody can relate to each other.

“When we come together we want you to know we are fighting this. I’m not raising money because I had breast cancer, but for everybody who has had cancer.”

She doesn’t live in fear of cancer and she wants people to know that.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.”

        

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