Published: May 22, 2009 04:09 pm      

Don’t F.E.N.C.E. me in

“Send me off forever but I ask you please, don’t fence me in.”

The lyrical ballad by Cole Porter was a No. 1 hit for Roy Rogers and topped the charts for Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters. Garth Brooks dedicated his second album to the idea of “No Fences.” Despite the popularity of the concept of open spaces in music, however, in modern suburbia, fences are a part of life.

People give many reasons for building fences. Sometimes they say they want to keep their kids and animals safely in the backyard. Maybe they can’t get along with their neighbors. Maybe they have something to hide. But whatever the reason, the thing they need to understand is that the same fence that limits the access of the outside world, also limits their view of the world.

Many people don’t realize that the word “fence” is an anagram. F.E.N.C.E. actually means “For Excluding Neighbors and Controlling the Environment.” Seriously. Let me explain.

Back in the good old days, the first concept a kid learned was the word “no.” You youngsters out there probably won’t believe this, but parents used to use the word “no” all the time. Today, however, since parents rarely use that word, the new first concept most children learn is “mine!” That’s what happens when parents give kids everything they want. It becomes a MINE! MINE! MINE! kind of world.

This explains the first part of the anagram, F.E.N., “For Excluding Neighbors.” Apparently the idea is to keep out the riff raff, i.e. the neighbors, and keep all possessions under lock and key. There are no more howdy neighbors. Howdy neighbors are the kind you can borrow sugar from and repay with eggs. You help each other with yard work after a storm. Or you help them build a barn and they repay you with, I don’t know, a goat or something. What happened to that?

Today it seems that all you get are back-off neighbors. They not only don’t want to meet you, they don’t want to see or hear you. Ever. All you get is keep off MY grass, keep away from MY house, don’t pet MY dog, don’t disturb MY peace, and how dare you wave at MY family! MINE! Then they don’t just build a fence, they build a variable fortress to keep you away. Some people build such large fences, I’m surprised they don’t just go ahead and dig a moat and fill it with alligators.

That leaves us with the C.E., or the second part of the syndrome that compels people to build fences. Fence builders don’t just want to keep people out, they also feel a need for control. Perhaps things aren’t going well at work and they didn’t get that raise they wanted. Maybe their kids are out of control (probably because they never tell them no). Therefore, they try to “Control” their “Environment” by building a fence. It’s kind of a Freudian concept except, you know, without the sex part.

Which brings me back to the point, which I actually stated way back at the beginning (Ha! All this time you thought there was more to it). The F.E.N.C.E. builders of the world need to remember, it’s not just that they’re keeping the world out, they’re also closing off their view of the world. Tear down those fences and open your minds, neighbors. There might actually be more to life than just controlling what’s yours.

— Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer from Clayton. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.